A LEARNING

It was a dark lane. I was  hurrying to get to the stationery shop before my hostel gates shut sharp at nine. As I rushed, I saw the headlights of a bike behind me. As the light came closer I moved to the pavement so that the vehicle could pass. To my surprise the vehicle stopped right in front of me. A hand shot out in the dark and tried to grab my hand. Terrified, I let out a scream. Startled, the miscreant sped away on his bike.

After this incident, for many days, I could not walk through a lane in the evening. I just could not shake off a feeling of disgust . I was angry with myself for feeling so helpless. I wondered if I was weak. I did not know what I would have done in the situation but I felt vulnerable nevertheless.

My friend had told me about a community public project named Blank Noise. They confront problems of sexual harassment and eve-teasing that women face every day. Their tagline “I never ask for it” was simple but it helped me come to terms with myself. I attended a few meetings and started involving myself actively in their projects. Working with them gave me the strength and the conviction to fight. The activities done by Blank Noise such as boarding buses and reading out letters from victims of sexual harassment or collecting clothes in which you have been eve teased and put them on display. It was not surprising to see people bringing clothes such as salwar kameez and kurtis which are considered decent in our so-called traditional Indian society.

These kinds of incidents happen with every woman on the street every other day. Be it on a bus where you will be groped by men who do not know how to keep their hands to themselves or when you walk down an ally where you will find plenty of Roadside Romeos, who possess the unnatural ability to strip you with their bare naked eyes. Women today have become accustomed to the jeers and taunts passed by men at every step and corner on the road. It is more shocking to see that more than teenage boys; it is the middle age men who seem to be experience raging hormonal imbalance in their systems. “Once I had to witness a horrible incident of a man on his bike who pulled down his jeans in the middle of the road and just stood there with his erect penis glaring me in the eye, says Priya, a 22-year-old student in Bangalore. He did not seem to be bothered that the road was full of people. Thank God I did not have to see his face as the psychopath was wearing his helmet the whole time”, she says. Incidents such as these have become a common thing. On asking, how women deal with such problems, many had similar answers. Some said they walk wearing headphones because it distracts them from the jeers and snide comments and gestures. Some use the phone as a crutch and many prefer to keep their eyes down and walk.

Blank Noise was my crutch for coming to terms with reality. There are times when I wonder why I had to wait for so long to do this.Now instead of looking down at the uncomfortable stares and gestures I have learned to stare back.